Metaphor

by - Thursday, May 07, 2020

assalamualaikum and 안영하세요.


Photo by Jonas Denil on Unsplash
aku suka sangat cheesecake. any cheesecake dari red velvet sampai la burn cheesecake semua aku suka. i used to eat cheesecake like everyday. tanpa muak. cheesecake bagi aku macam pelengkap hari aku. sehari tak cari cheesecake rasa macam pelik, incompleteness. mungkin sebab itu aku tak menghargai rasa nikmat dapat makan tanpa ada halangan. bila kau hilang something you cherish baru faham erti kekosongan. ditakdirkan aku tak boleh ambik any lactose product, kalau aku degil or termakan effect dia either aku muntah everything sampai badan pun tak mampu nak bangun or my face became worst. naik balik segala keluarga jerawat. 


dan bermula la hidup baru aku tanpa cheesecake. tipu la kalau tak tercuit sikit pun rasa craving nak makan. nak rasa nikmat boleh enjoy makan tanpa kena tanggung rasa 'sakit'. lelama craving tu hilang. sikit pun tekak tak menagis mahukan cheesecake seperti dulu. 


sampai la hari ni. entah apa yang merasuk, aku nak sangat makan cheesecake. aku capai sepiringin cheesecake. aku pandang kosong tak seperti dulu. disua sedikit masuk ke dalam mulut. sampai la suapan ketiga aku stop makan. kek masih lagi berbaki dalam piring, ditolak jauh. entah, aku rasa kek tu pelik. cheesecake yang datang dari secret recipe yang pernah menjadi kegemaran aku. 


Photo by Nicholas Ng on Unsplash


entah kenapa aku rasa nak makan tanpa peduli apa yang akan jadi. sekarang aku rasa menyesal. this is not cheesecake that i loved. dia rasa lain. aku boleh muak padahal baru suapan ketiga. of course aku boleh agak yang badan aku mula memaksa aku untuk muntahkan segalanya. adakah berbaloi aku makan cheesecake untuk buat badan aku lembik tepi singki? tak. mungkin lepas apa yang jadi aku akan jadi lebih serik untuk tak akan makan cheesecake sampai bila bila. 


manusia tak akan pernah berlajar erti sakit selagi dia tak merasa sakit tu sendiri. ala setakat orang momok mana pernah nak ambik kesah selagi tak kena kat diri sendiri. dalam dunia ni masih banyak kek yang tak ada cheese. mungkin after this aku akan minat kek chocolate pulak. siapa tahu.


seminggu juga mood aku tak berapa nak duduk pada paksinya. kesudahannya aku rasa macam overwhelm. maka aku rasa nak muntah everything kat words. aku dah mula balik habit aku yang lama, bila aku terlampau dikawal dengan emosi aku akan muntahkan segalanya kat sini. lepas ni aku akan rasa lebih okay? 



Loving you through all your hating. But now it's over now. And now I'm sober now--my heart by Christopher
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30 comments

  1. Wak Lat7 May 2020 at 18:19

    salam ramdhan., ;p

    ReplyDelete
  2. faten.banana7 May 2020 at 22:26

    Izinkan patik emo, because reading this literally and in-between the lines, makes me to T_T

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fahmi7 May 2020 at 22:53

    suka juga cake2 ni

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  4. Silah Hassy8 May 2020 at 07:59

    maaf tanya, kenapa dah tak boleh makan cheese? faktor kesihatan ke..

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    Replies
    1. ztra.znddn8 May 2020 at 18:04

      saya under drug, doxycycline. macam antibiotik for acne. dia bukan tak boleh makan terus any lactose food, dia kena 2 jam before and after taking medicine. but the usually bila nak makan tu selalu tak kena timing tu terus stop makan hahahaha

      Delete
    2. Silah Hassy10 May 2020 at 22:21

      ohhh. kiranya kena ada masa yang tepat la kalau tak haru nanti. hehe. moga baik2 saje awak..

      Delete
  5. Anonymous8 May 2020 at 16:30

    awak cerita pasal cheesecake, tapi deep dia sampai saya relate pegi ke tempat lain.
    betul, manusia tak akan pernah berlajar erti sakit selagi dia tak merasa sakit tu sendiri. bila dah terkena baru sedih

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    Replies
    1. ztra.znddn8 May 2020 at 18:06

      thank you for notice it. tht why tajuk dia metaphor. dia macam perumpamaan/ayat berlapik dari menulis benda yang straightforwards :D

      Delete
  6. ray9 May 2020 at 09:38

    I hope you're feeling better now. This is like me and matcha. i used to love it and couldn't stand a week without one.
    but now that everything has change, it changes everything.

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  7. Anonymous9 May 2020 at 21:32

    oooooohhhhhhhhh

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  8. Atikah Tahir11 May 2020 at 16:06

    So deep.. betul, dia macam budak kecik yang tak dengar cakap mak dia dan dia nak sangat main api tapi bila dah terasa panasnya api tu bila terkena kulit, baru dia belajar sesuatu..waktu tu baru dia diam.. semoga cepat sembuh yee..

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  9. Amar Razali12 May 2020 at 07:25

    yannye takleh makan ciskek dah T_T stay strong siz

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  10. aienienka18 May 2020 at 06:11

    Lepas baca ni, termenung panjang...... What did I missing in my life? A LoT.

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  11. Lya Amie18 May 2020 at 07:52

    Why you can't eat cheesecake anymore? Cheesecake is life! Haha.
    Anyway tak sangka baca pasal cheesecake can be so metaphorically pleasing. I love your writing!
    May you get better soon!

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  12. GGhere21 May 2020 at 12:03

    i hope you're doing well now. take care of your mind and feeling okay *sendhugs!

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  13. anakdenesor22 May 2020 at 21:06

    biasa pernah dengar je orang x boleh ambik.. tapi tak pernah nak tahu keadaan diorg kalau dioarg ambik juga.. sabar sis.. saya ade tonsil.. so whenever i eat chocolate, or oily food esok nya automatic terus dtg tonsil pakej demam panas sekali.. seksa da la hantu chocolate sye ni

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  14. Tqa London25 May 2020 at 12:23

    I totally get your point.
    Selagi tak sakit, tak tahu nak berhenti.
    I have to forget about having coffee everyday ever since I got sick after I had coffee at Costa Coffee The Strand. That was the most extreme stomachache I have ever had. And ever since that, I can't even stand other coffees too.
    Rasa nak menangis. But during RMO, I prepared myself to get sick because I really want to try that Dalgona coffee, fortunately, I did not and it was the best thing ever. I can have coffee again after so long!

    Anyway, I really hope you get to enjoy desserts like you used to with tremendous enthusiasm.

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  15. Hanachie27 May 2020 at 17:54

    I like this kinda 'tersirat' type of writing! hehe nice sharing!!
    .
    and... Happy Eid to you ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Eyna Puzi30 May 2020 at 14:53

    Same goes to me with seafood huhu 😭

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  17. afifah1 June 2020 at 20:12

    this sound awfully like my mood swings lol

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  18. Acuyuhan6 June 2020 at 21:01

    SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!! menarikla :) done follow, follow me back.. thanks
    http://acuyuhan.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wafiy Shuib10 June 2020 at 11:44

    semoga bertambah baik :)

    btw, done follow. Followback ya kalau sudi heheh :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. NadiaJamhari14 July 2020 at 11:52

    Hi. I hope you are okay !

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sabrina Yasin17 August 2020 at 22:14

    this lowkey hits home

    ReplyDelete
  22. Cuya2 October 2020 at 22:14

    singgah sini ^^Y

    https://nasuha-itsmyessay.blogspot.com/2020/09/aku-bagi-kotak-misteri-pada-blogger.html

    ReplyDelete

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